Adjusting back...

I left a small group of people that I had a connection with in the Holy Land and returned back to find my world the same.  This is neither a surprise nor a bad thing, but I noticed today that my mind was struggling to calibrate back to USA standards.  I’m back in a world where everyone I meet is on a separate path, doing his/her own things.  I may see them or spend time with these people, but then we’re all off to do our own thing next.  Independent living.  After two weeks of doing the same thing with close to thirty people everyday and every night, I was not expecting to get so attached to that solidarity.  In fact there were a few times when I just wanted to get away, but I guess I got attached despite myself.  J

I didn’t have an international plan for my phone, so I was free of that obligation while I was away.  As liberating as it was to not have to worry about a phone, the messages I found awaiting me were very welcoming. 

I tend to feel insignificant in life.  But, when I found a message from my sister, saw my brother, talked to my mother-in-law, and found some texts/emails from friends and family, it was very touching to be remembered, and it all made me feel really special.  That’s always needed and always appreciated.  To all the people that have fallen into one of these categories, I hope you will read this and know that I really appreciated hearing from you.  As soon as my mind and body are on the same page I hope to be in touch and make you feel as special as you ARE.  I have certainly thought about all of you while I was on my trip!

My first day back I woke up very early.  (I had to wake Norm up.  It’s normally the other way around.)  I also woke up starving.  This is not my morning routine.  So naturally, I had two PB&J sandwiches for breakfast.  Folks, I never eat TWO sandwiches and certainly not for breakfast, but my body was confused.  By midmorning, I was so tired I couldn’t keep my eyes open.  Taking the advice of the pilot I’d just seen in the Atlanta airport, I let myself sleep.  It felt wonderful to rest.  By lunch I was up and trying to make the day productive.  I spent the afternoon sorting out my luggage and trying to make sense of what I brought home including some gross laundry

Next was tackling the car.  I don’t even want to talk about that one.  I’ll learn more tomorrow about that Dx.

By nightfall, I was hacking like I had a permanent hairball.  These throat tickles began about five hours into my flight back from Israel.  I am @#$%^& about it!  I just got rid of this before I left and now it’s back.  My lungs are beginning to fill, and I just hate the idea of what’s ahead.  I’m so DONE with it!  My lungs must be the ultimate fun park for viruses and infections.  I have lost my patience for dealing with this stuff, but that matters little.  They always prevail over me.  My opinion holds no clout.  I am not a happy sick person.  I am an impatient, irritable sick person.  Wah.  I will pray that these lung germs will “yallah” out of here any day now.

I’ve gotten to see some special people since I got back home and that’s been a great highlight for me.  I’ve also been relieved to find things the same as before I left.  Every time I travel I worry that something may happen while I’m away.  But, a very special blessing is arriving home and finding everyone that I left safe and healthy is still that way.  For all of these things, I am very grateful. 

I hope my former bus-mates are all home and doing well.  I miss them.

Lastly I want to say a special thank you to all the people in my life that were sincerely happy and excited for me to have this trip.  It’s a gift to have opportunities, but it’s a bigger gift to have people in my life that want me to have them.